old rdpstudio website intro*

ben's happy day

::my projects::

luciland

speesees

pathologicaloptimist

1981

preservation hall playlist

kansas city stomps :: butch thompson
weeping willow blues :: odetta
bad acting woman :: jack teagarden
basin street blues :: pete fountain
drop me off in new orleans :: kermit ruffins
if i had you :: teddy wilson
kansas city stomps :: jelly roll morton
wrap your troubles in dreams :: carl sonny leyland trio

the lost kid + everyone we know

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6zfNltnraFQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6NsCvCn2EY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jdP7HUPbVs&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LVhIC_MfVPc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ5fd8__U4A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M98-5g3TYTI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDLCiwz-Bm4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnPOUnINM9s&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAUx8-UJ3fE&feature=related

mgmt

they're kinda like the new pornographers meet ween meet queen meet polyphonic spree meet ratatat with some antony and the johnsons thrown in. jennifer gave me their cd yesterday + i've probably already listened to the album at least 20x (yes, i am the annoying girl who keeps pressing 'repeat')>such electropop goodness! on the BART today they became the perfect soundtrack for my existence as i watched strangers move to + fro, forth + back, on + off. i decided that if i ever make a movie, i'm using track 2 or 3 for the opening sequence...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZLPY4jh5DGg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wbq_13mSGUU

phoebe washer

died yesterday, falling to her death during a hike in the marin headlands> just another reminder that we are ohsoverymortal & never know when we are going to go. what they didn't mention on the news is that phoebe is/was an incredible artist, & her drawings inspires me to live everyday to its fullest, as if it were my last. x

purging

face(t)s

*

coming face to face

The truth is that you can be only as happy with another person as you can be with yourself. If you like who you are, being with another person can be an extension of your happiness, But, if you do not like yourself, being with someone else can only exacerbate your unhappiness.

Your decision to enter into partnership should not be based on a desire to avoid looking at yourself, but on a willingness to intensify that process. When you live with other people, you are likely to trigger their unhealed wounds and they are likely to trigger yours. Becoming aware of the unhealed parts of you is neither pleasant nor easy. However, it is a necessary part of the journey to psychic wholeness.

Relationship is like a giant backhoe. It digs down through the superficial layers of consciousness and exposes your deepest fears and insecurities. If you aren't willing to look this deeply, you might want to question your desire to be in an intimate relationship. You can't get close to another person without coming face to face with yourself.

Paul Ferrini

animals+angels

face(t)s part 1

clean slate

march playlist

faced

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. - Lucille Ball

dress up

theo&rach

best grocery store sushi under $5

stardust combo @ good life grocery in bernal. $4.95; perfect combo of spicy shrimp, avocado & unagi rolls. fresher than expected.

i wuv bubba

boldness

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Goethe

i spy

thee who sees me. *

theo & dora

ask (& other questions)

another book to be published soon, ask (& other questions)
features the pathological optimist's journey through the abcs
of her own psychology.

fashionistas

a class excercise that gave me an excuse
to draw an attractive man with a cute hat.

luciland

a day in the life of humphrey (in kindergarten. i want his blanket & sleeping cap!) leads us to luciland, a children's series that has been brewing for about 8 years (?!?) & will be published one day. soon.

food for thought

an educational bit on the nutritional content of various foods, from eggs to unagi.

go2it

designer by profession, personal trainer by
alter ego, go2it girl reminds us that with a
little bit of stretching, breathing & water,
we're bound to stay balanced.

symbiosis boy

laptop upon back, symbiosis boy strives to save the world,
one 'speesees' at a time. this is the first animation i did
in flash3 at cca(c) in 2000.

artypea originals

finally catching up with myself & slowly but surely am
determined to get all of my drawings/photos/paintings/animations
up & out there. these links are to be seen in safari or
anything besides firefox (no workie).

greatness

twu wuv

hold to the reins of love and don't be afraid.
hold to the real behind the false and don't be afraid.

you must know
that the beloved you seek is none other than you.
hold to this truth and don't be afraid.

*rumi

dipietro todd

is my new favorite hair salon. winona!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

zara

zara is my favorite new store for jackets>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

the invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

l c r

o scorpio!

chairboy & me

seattle

ego

todo2

todo

best

nobody knows what's best for you better than you.

buoyancy

reminded tonight in dina amsterdam's yin class that when we try to control things we feel disconnected; when we surrender & release control, we experience buoyancy.

08 intentions

(that's right, mister: intentions that i hope to manifest):::

physical
*blog daily (here or speesees.blogspot.com)
*yoga 2x/week
*take dance class
*start learning french (or) japanese (or) hindi
*publish pathological optimist or luciland
*stay on task

emotional
*contend w. my darkness w. compassion; using meditation & art
as vehicles for self-discovery & expression
*continue to cultivate compassion for myself & others
*really listen (hear. don't interrupt. ask questions.)
*be more private (don't blab everything on my mind)
*don't take things personally
*undercommit (maybe on evites = ok)